A Mai Tai, a Pain Killer, and a Bikini Martini walk into a bar...

...and they each order a mojito.

It's not actually a joke.
It's the best and worst idea for a bon voyage party ever.

Here' what all the cool kids are drinking on a school night near you:

Don The Beachcomber's Mai Tai
(mummy's secret "we-don't-have-all-the-ingredients recipe)
1.5 oz dark rum (I recommend Cruzan Black Strap... Boy, do I ever recommend Cruzan Black strap...)
1 oz medium boded rum (like Mount Gay)
3/4 oz lime juice
1/2 oz triple sec (like Cointreau)
2 dashes Angostura Bitters
*1/4 oz falernum
**1 dash Pernod
mint leaves and pineapple garnish

* we used 1/4 oz almound extract + 3/4 oz vanilla vodka
** who has Pernod sitting around? Try something sweet like 1/2 oz peach schnapps + 1/2 oz Malibu, otherwse it's a bit of a bitter drink.

On the whole, these were pretty good. (well mixed, certainly) They have a very complex taste. I would be interested to try it with the Pernod, though, since we really departed from the recipe there, and I think I would have preferred pineapple juice (or pineapple rum) to the peach schnapps.

Allie's Kill It Dead Pain Killers

2 oz Cruzan Black Strap Rum (really, just drink the stuff straight, or with a little Rose's lime and some Grand Marnier - it has a super smooth dark molasses flavor)
1 oz Malibu
1.5 oz Fridays Pre-mixed Pina Colada Mix
garnish with Nutmeg (and don't skimp, this is the most important ingredient even though it's just a dash - that's where that mystical healing aroma comes from)
serve over ice

Considering I invented it, it was my favorite drink of the evening. The plastic coconut cups really capped off the Happy Hour portion of the night.

And then, of course, there was dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, where I tried the Bikini Martini - a drink that sounds like it should be disgusting, but is made up of Malibu, Cruzan Pineapple Rum, and pineapple juice. The Grenadine they poured in to give the thing a disgusting sunburned hue, I could have done without. And I had a sip of the Mojito my mother ordered, since the Cheesecake Factory Mojitos are the reason I started drinking the things. I don't know what their mix is, but if you're looking for a fantastic Mojito, this is the (albeit unlikely) place to get it.

Oh the plane ride is going to be fun tonight!